Warning: Not everyone will understand this post but all mothers out there, you will completely understand where I am coming from. We made a very interesting (and depressing) discovery about my breast milk this past week. Let me preface this by saying the picture below is all the frozen milk we have stocked up. Over 200 ounces of breast milk is considered pure gold in the Collins household. For some reason, with Ford I have been able to stock the freezer in case I wanted to be away he could always just have a bottle. I NEVER had this much with Olivia.
The other night I went to dinner and a movie with a friend assured that Ford would be well taken care of and could just have a bottle from the frozen supply. Every mom needs some "me" time, right? While I was away Hays had some major trouble getting Ford to take the bottle. We thought he just didn't care for the bottle so to get him used to taking one we were very persistent and just kept trying with no luck. We started researching this problem online and it turns out that my milk has too much of a certain enzyme, lipase. Excessive lipase can make any milk that is not extremely fresh taste soapy or metallic. What??? This is a nursing moms worst nightmare! We tasted the milk (I know, weird, right? I made Hays do it) and sure enough it tastes like you are washing your mouth out with soap. Poor Ford! Tear............
After many phone calls later to professionals in this field we were reassured that our findings were correct. All 200 ounces will be donated to a center in Texas where they pasteurize the milk and make it safe for other babies to have. It will be sent to NICU's around the South. I want to cry, I really do but I have come to the realization that this milk was never meant for Ford. It was God's plan all along for this milk to go to babies that need it more. So long, farewell, goodbye milk that I worked so hard for, many times in the wee hours of the morning. You will be used for little babies that need it much more than my own.